“Back to school” time is often a crazy, busy time for families. Parents rushing around to make sure each child has the necessary set of supplies, looking for the perfect book bag, finding that special lunch box the child is proud to carry. Younger children may start the year with worry about who their new teacher is? What friends will be in their class? They may end the year concerned about taking end of grade tests.
Pre-teens and teens bring an additional set of concerns including how they look, do they have the “right” clothes, and will they fit in? Anxiety can manifest as physical symptoms, too, such as abdominal pain, headaches and fatigue. These concerns often increase just prior to the start of the new school year and are important to recognize.
As parents, you can help your children prepare for the start of new school year – not only by making sure they have the “supply list” covered, but by taking time with them to discuss their worries and fears. Talking about what concerns your child can often help alleviate the anxiety.
Make sure you mark the “Open House” or the Kindergarten “mixer ” on your calendar and make plans to attend. Once you arrive at these events, turn off your phone and demonstrate to your child that you are fully present for them. If, like many parents, you have more than one of these events – often scheduled at the same time – recruit other family members to assist you so that each child has a loving adult with them. Sometimes simply knowing that their teacher is not “covered in warts” helps children feel less anxious regarding the first day of school.
Focus on the present. If your child had a “rough” year last school year, talk about how each school year is a new beginning. A chance to make new friends, improve their reading and math skills – and have more fun! Remind your children that you are there for them and will be there give the assistance they need to be successful. Remember to define success as “trying your best and asking for help when you need it.”
BE SAFE! Remember to stop and breathe when you are rushing everyone out of the house for school each morning. Check to make sure everyone is buckled up in his or her car seats/seat belts prior to pulling out of the driveway. Discuss traffic safety issues, including walking to the bus stop, keeping the driveway clear (“so Mom doesn’t run over your new bike”), etc. Discuss not talking to adult strangers at the bus stop or leaving the bus stop or the school with anyone else but a parent (unless you have made previous arrangements). Come up with a code word that only parents or sitters who pick children up from school will know. It does not need to be complicated but rather a word the children can remember. And practice with them.
The unknown may frighten all of us. However, taking a little time to prepare for the “unknowns” and the butterflies may help diffuse the anxiousness for children and parents!
Have a wonderful start to the school year, and know that myself, Dr. Wescott, and Valorie of Growing Up Pediatrics are here if you need us.